Breastfeeding Wo's

Well... It's been tough!!! Where do I begin? It began a couple weeks ago, not feeling like I was producing enough milk for my little man. He gradually was getting more and more fussy every time I would try to feed him. It was like he was screaming at me saying, "why mom, why are you putting that boob in my mouth when it won't give me what I need?!?" For about 4 days I tried to trick him into nursing by putting the binky in his mouth then pulling it out and putting in the boob.That was incredibly frustrating for me and him. I tried pumping and got out 1 oz. from both boobs. I was beat! So sad and exhausted, and my baby was starving!I didn't understand why my milk would be going away since I have never even feed him anything other then breast milk. So I looked up online reason that my milk might be drying up. It listed stress. Well if your husband losing his job, dog dying, crazy toddler boys that climb all over me while I'm trying to nurse, potty training 2 little crazy boys (a success, but a story for another day), financially unstable doesn't scream stress I'm not sure what does. So hello, it makes since. Then I researched ways to help my milk production come back and be strong. I read of an herb called Fenugreek that is amazing for milk production so I went down to the local Health Store and bought me a little bottle of the magic pill and that very next morning what do you know, MILK!! I felt like I could feed triplets. It was amazing. But it didn't last long. Although I was still taking the pills my milk was slowing going away. Saturday and Sunday were really hard days, struggling to get the little guy to eat. I shed many tears over it from frustration and thinking about not nursing him anymore. I was so determined to nurse for a whole year. I thought I would be able to do it since with Dallin I lasted 2 months, Bryant it was 7 months so I gained 5 months between them and I thought 5 more months for Asher would be a whole year and that would be great. But it didn't look like that was going to happen. I cried and cried about it and gave him a bottle because on Sunday he had gone about 8 hours without eating, not that I wasn't trying to feed him. So he had a bottle and then I came to terms with it and what do ya know, at 2 am I woke up from having the most bizarre dream of my chest full of milk. I fed Asher and went out to pump because my chest was so full. I got out 4 oz from 1 boob. I was amazed, and a little confused. Why the heck is my body going crazy?? I guess I was able to finally relax and give up the fight and my body went to work making a ton of milk. So now I'm back at it for who knows how long. Until the next big stressful day I guess.